I Carry Your Heart With Me

For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him.

I Samuel 1:27

Parker's Story:

We were induced on Wednesday, October 10th.  My sweet husband, Mom, Dad, and Mother-in-law were with me every step of the way beginning on the 10th.  I couldn't ask for a better family.    I was past due and had only dilated to a 1 centimeter.  We checked into the hospital and I was given medicine that was supposed to help me dilate.  It pretty much started small contractions that lasted all night.  We tried the medicine for 18 hours, and well into October 11th, we still had no progress.  

On the 11th, the Dr. decided to break my water and give me medicine to start harder contractions to see if we could in a sense, trick my body into going into labor.  Well, my body did start to make progress...very very slowly.  By Thursday night, I was in a ton of pain and had dilated to a 3.5.  I opted for an epidural, being told by the Dr.'s that once you reach a 4 cm of dilation, everything moves really fast. I wanted to make sure, I was numb for the road ahead.  I had an epidural and my body rejected it.  I would not numb.  Yes, I am part of the 1% that has this reaction....they came back in and re-positioned the needle...still no effect...by this time, we were well into Friday morning on the 12th and I had dilated to around a 6 - and felt every centimeter of it!  We tried the epidural again, positioned higher in my back, with still no effect.  Again, that one was repositioned and still my body would not accept it.  

Most of the rest of our time was spent trying to figure out how to get me numb...by the time they checked me again that afternoon, I had dilated to a 9.5.  I was exhausted and starving.  During my labor I went through 4 shifts of doctors.  The last doctor finally advised we may want to consider a c-section.  We had a hard time deciding what to do, because I was so close to being fully dilated, but Parker was measuring to be quite big and who knows how long it would take me to dilate another .5 of a centimeter, plus the time to push him out.  I had been in labor for 52 hours.  It broke my heart because I felt like I had battled so hard, but we opted for a c-section, knowing I had no more energy.  They prepped me and in a matter of 7 minutes in the operating room I heard my sweet 8 lb. 9 oz. boy cry for the first time at 5:04pm.  My life has not been the same since.

The first picture I took of Parker.

It has taken me some time to get around to blogging...there is a reason for that.  Raising a child has been one of the hardest things, if not the hardest thing I have ever done (and I know, I don't know anything yet).  I knew it would be challenging, but I had no idea what exactly having a baby would be like.  There is no way to prepare yourself for it.  I have this precious human being that depends on me for every single aspect of his life...and might I add - he looks so stinking cute while doing it!  While you may think you are prepared, trust me, you are not!  

I was introduced to a completely different kind of love, that by no means can be explained.  It can only be experienced.  While it is a difficult task, raising a child is absolutely the most amazing part of my life.  There is no greater feeling in the world than walking into the room and speaking to Parker and watching him grin a big gummy grin.  My heart melts.  I would go to all extremes and measures to make sure that my child gets everything he deserves in life.  

So this Thanksgiving I am most thankful for Love.

I am thankful for a parent's love:

For the love I have for Parker and for finally understanding the love my parents have for me.

I am thankful for my husband and the love that we share. 

I am thankful that my husband gave me the most beautiful little boy in the world.

I am thankful to finally have an inkling of an understanding of how much God loves me.  I could never send my Son to die for the sins of others...but He did that for me and you. 

I am thankful for Grammy Lynne and Papa Ron and the love that we all share.  I am blessed with great in-laws.

Photo: Copyright Sally Gupton

I have been waiting to blog, trying to find the perfect song lyric or poem or something that reminded me of Parker.  Something that attempted to explain the kind of love I have for him.  That one day, he can look back on this blog, maybe when he has his own children, and understand exactly what I was feeling.  So I leave you with this:

I Carry Your Heart With Me

E.E. Cummings

 I carry your heart with me 

(I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it

(anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)

I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

 I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

Photo: Copyright Sally Gupton

38 Weeks

ALMOST THERE!!!!  This will officially be my last post before my sweet Parker arrives.  I can hardly wait.

I told myself as long as I made it to 36/37 weeks, he would come early.  Just like all the other people I knew who were pregnant.  All of their babies came early.  Not my sweet Parker...He must be hard headed, like his Daddy.

If you know me, you know I am a planner/organizer.  I have to have a plan for everything.  SO, the nursery has been ready for over a month.  Hospital bags are packed, car seat is in the car, we are pre-registered at the hospital and there is even a little last minute list for Darrell sitting by the hospital bags for things for him to do when labor starts.   Arrangements have been made for Cameron and my Mom will be coming to stay for a while when Parker arrives to help us adjust.  Daycare is picked out, maternity leave is set up...groceries are purchased and frozen for the first few weeks after labor...  

...and here we are at the start of 38 weeks, with no little boy.  Every day feels like it lasts a month.  Parker dropped around 36 weeks and is officially head down ready for birth.  That brings on a lot of pressure on my pelvis and a LOT more peeing.  I get up every 20 minutes during the night to pee.  Everyone keeps saying "You better sleep while you can..."  Well, trust me, I would if I could.  The dropping of Parker also brought on some major back pain.  I was very proud to not have gotten any stretch marks this entire pregnancy...until Parker dropped.  Now my lower belly is filled with them from all the pressure.  Since Parker is getting larger, when he moves, it is almost a little painful.  My feet are officially swollen.  My hands are swollen and I still wear my braces at night on my wrists. Actually, everything is swollen...

I try to tell Parker every day that there is more room out than there is in, and that if he comes on out he will finally get to see Mommy...My doctor said sometimes you just build such a good home in your belly that babies don't want to come out.  So, I promise him that his home outside of my belly will be better.  He just hasn't made up his mind yet to come out.  And I know, at the perfect time he will.  It is all up to God, and I trust his timing a lot more than I trust mine.

...With all of this, I wouldn't trade this opportunity for anything in the world. I am so very thankful to be given the opportunity to carry a child. 

My final pregnancy photo, and the next post, I will be introducing the world to our Son!  Keep us in your prayers!!!

33 Weeks

I just realized I haven't posted a blog for 6 weeks!  I had sweet intentions to, we have just been getting so organized for the baby that I have completely let it slip my mind.  (Also a side effect of being pregnant)

And, I no longer have to refer to the baby in my belly as "the baby"...we officially decided that our son's name will be Parker!!!  I am so excited.  We don't have a middle name picked out yet but I am thrilled to have a first name picked out!  We were originally going to name the baby a first name that began with "D" and a middle name that began with "A," just like his Daddy, but we searched for 6 months and couldn't find anything that we loved.  Darrell found the name Parker and I fell in love with it. I wanted to name him Parker McCrea, because my Daddy's middle name is McCrea.  BUT, his initials would be PMS.  I just couldn't do it.  Now we are leaning towards a Bible name.  Darrell likes James, because that is his favorite book in the Bible.  My choice is Thomas, but I like James too.

My doctors appointments have now increased to every other week.  We had an appointment this past Wednesday and Parker was estimated to be weighing in around 4 lbs.  We were both healthy!  Thank God for that and thank all of you guys for your prayers!

Major changes in my pregnancy include MAJOR heartburn.  Heartburn that keeps me up at night.  Heartburn that makes me sleep sitting straight up.  My doctor told me last week I can take Zantac to help and it has been a tremendous help.  I am finally getting some good sleep!  I also have some carpal tunnel that has flared due to the swelling in my hands/feet.  I have to wear a wrist brace for both hands while I am at work and while sleeping.  I look a little crippled, but I really don't care because it provides a little comfort.

I have been much much more hungry since my third trimester started.  I feel like there is a hole in my stomach that is never full.  I have also been SO emotional.  I can cry for any reason at anytime...just try me!

My belly looks like I have swallowed a watermelon.  This last few weeks are when the baby is supposed to do all the growing, so if you can imagine it, my belly is going to only get BIGGER!

  

Parker is very active with me!  He seems to be a little shy with others.  He will move all day/night but as soon as someone wants to feel him, he stops.  Imagine that.  I was extremely shy when I was little, so maybe he will be like Mommy.  =)

We have read to Parker a few nights.  His favorite book right now seems to be Brown Bear, Brown Bear.  =) (Special thanks to Carine!)

Parker also gets the hiccups on a daily basis.  It is the most amazing thing in the world to watch your little boy hiccup inside your belly.  There is no way you can see something like that and not believe that there is a God.

The past 6 weeks have included 2 baby showers!  We thank each and every one of you for the gifts you bestowed on Parker.  He is already so loved!  Not to take anything away from anyone who gave us a gift, or attended a shower, but my brother and his wife drove from Ashburn, VA to attend the baby shower our church threw us.  That was a 5.5 hour drive!  As if the drive wasn't a gift in itself, they also showered little man with gifts, including this perfect little name monogram.  One of my favorite gifts!  Parker is going to love his uncle Josh and Aunt Katie so much!!

We also have one more shower this week that my work is giving!  They just told me about it last week and to say we are more than blessed is an understatement. 

The past 6 weeks have also included some major working/organizing on the nursery.  

Cameron loves to go in the nursery and attempts to eat all of Parker's toys.  Especially the stuffed animals.  He can climb onto the glider and into the crib to try to get the stuffed animals...he is going to have some major adjusting to do.  I did not pose him for the below photo...Cameron thinks the baby room is his room and refuses to move when I try to take a photo.

We are so so so excited for Parker to arrive.  I am already dreading taking him to daycare, but, very thankful that we found a good daycare.  It's at a very small church and they have devotional time and teach about Jesus.  The people are very very sweet, and it of course came highly recommended. 

Hopefully it won't be another 6 weeks before I post again.  If it is, hopefully Parker will have made his appearance by then!  Please continue to pray for Parker and I!  Love you all!

27 Weeks

It has been forever.....I know! The heat has taken its toll on this pregnant lady. Otherwise there has been no real different news in the last few weeks.


My quality of sleep really stinks...I spend most nights aching with leg cramps, peeing, and being woke up by a kicking baby... I wouldn't change the kicking part for the world!!! The rest of it, I just keep telling myself we are getting a little bit closer everyday!


Baby Southern is VERY active!! Not only can you feel him move...anytime he moves you can see it, because my whole belly moves. I have been talking to people and suddenly my belly starts jerking around and they are like WHOA, was that your baby?! So he doesn't seem to be bashful!


I feel him mostly when I am still. When I am up and about I think I am too distracted to pay attention. And I especially feel him when I get hungry, he kicks me too death!


My feet occasionally swell when I am out in the heat or on them longer than normal, unless I am wearing tennis shoes.


It's getting a little harder to maneuver this belly. My sweet sweet Mama painted my toe nails for me this past weekend because it's hard for me to get to my toes. =)


We finally got all of the baby furniture put together! Actually, my husband and my daddy did! Thank God for them!


We bought a TON of clothes from a girl at work, Sara, and Baby Southern is now clothed for the first year of his life! I hardly have room to store all of the clothes. We also bought a nice car seat and stroller from Darrell's cousins Kevin and Margaret. Everything is slowly coming together. We even have a small list of names that we are deciding on.


Cameron loves the baby right now. He constantly lays, sniffs, and licks my belly. He's not used to Mama having this big ole belly, so I'm not so sure he's got it all figured out yet. Hopefully he won't have too much trouble adjusting when the baby comes...


It's hard to believe that we are already at the 7 month mark...this pregnancy is flying by...our little bundle of joy will be here before we know it...thank you so much for all of the prayers and continue to pray for us!!

Weeks 22 & 23

These last two weeks have been my favorite 2 by far!

There has been so much movement from the baby!  It is so amazing to watch my stomach bulge when he moves and he moves A LOT!  The most special part was that Darrell was finally able to feel the baby too!  We had a check up 3 weeks ago and I asked the Dr. when  Darrell would be able to feel the baby too, he seemed to think it would be another month.  Then 2 days later I was laying in bed reading and the baby was moving like he was doing flips!  I got Darrell to feel and of course he stops and then suddenly WHAM, he kicked us both!  Darrell was so cute!  He couldn't believe that I get to feel this all the time.  And, it was SO nice to be able to share it with him because it's harder for the Dad to relate since his body isn't going through any changes.

Since then, he moves all the time!  But if you try to catch him doing it, and feel it yourself, he will of course stop.  The minute you take your hand off of my belly, he goes right back at it.  He's already sneaky.  =)

I have felt the best the last 2 weeks that I have the whole pregnancy.  My dad even came over and spent the whole Saturday with Darrell unloading the spare room and turning into a nursery.  It is still a work in progress, but here is a before and after.  We have one more dresser to put together.

And as promised, here is an ultrasound picture.  One of our favorites.  Little guy decided to put his finger up over his face - I am hoping that is not his middle finger!  SO CUTE!

Heres a picture from this week.  Can't believe we are already 6 months along.  Where has the time went?
Thank you for all of your prayers!

Weeks 20 & 21

I don't know why I find it hard to find time to write in the blog lately.  I even have an app on my phone so I can do it anywhere and any time, but I never find the time.  AND, I just realized this week that I never blogged about the ultra sound appointment when we found out we were having a baby BOY!


Darrell's mom and my parents accompanied us on the appt. for the ultrasound.  It was very sweet to be able to share it with everyone.  Darrell and I found out by ourselves first and then brought the parents in to share the news.


I was surprised how quickly the technician knew it was a boy!  As soon as she placed her little wand on my belly, she knew.  Darrell let out a loud "YEAH!" while I cried sweet tears of joy.  Boy or Girl, it honestly did not matter to us.  We got to see him move his hand up by his head and even pointed a finger up to his mouth.  It was absolutely precious.  I am going to post the photos of the ultrasound, as soon as I find time to scan them into my computer.


Last weekend Darrell and I spent Memorial Day picking out Lil Man's baby furniture and registering for baby gifts.  I don't think I have ever felt so overwhelmed when we registered.  We started on one aisle and went down each and every aisle until we made it to the end.  By the end of that day, Mommy was EXHAUSTED.  No more sleeping through the night though.  I sleep for about an hour at a time then I have to pee or switch sides, because my hips are throbbing.


The last two weeks I have noticed a major increase in my appetite!  I can't get enough food!  That is honestly the only change I have felt, besides the hip pain, and a growing belly and the flutters!  I get to feel our sweet boy move around all day.  He usually moves right after I eat, or if I have been sitting straight up for a little while, he moves around. Every night, Darrell and I get into bed and read and he always moves around then.  Hopefully he will be a reader like Mommy.  I have always wondered what it would feel like to feel your baby moving inside of you, and I have no words to describe it!  It is surreal - every woman should be able to experience it!

Thank you so much for all the prayers!!!

Weeks 18 & 19

These 2 weeks have brought with it the pregnancy belly...there is absolutely no denying that we are having a baby now! I look like I am carrying around a basketball...Hopefully that is some indication of the mad basketball skills I hope our little boy has.


The hardest thing for us right now is picking out a name... Not so much picking it out but finding time to sit down and talk about a name...for all of you who are eagerly waiting, I can promise you that we will have a name before Oct 8th. That's the best I can do =)


Besides that this week I woke up to round ligament pains. They are not fun and pretty painful. The only positive thing I can say about them is that thankfully I only have them after I sleep and when I cough or sneeze. And they do mean that my body is preparing for a growing baby!


I made my first baby purchase today. I went to Carter's to pick up some onesies, I really wanted one that said I love mommy, and was about to check out when I seen an I love dad one in Duke blue, so I had to get it... Baby boy stuff is always baby blue so I considered this to be one heck of a find. I put the mommy one back and surprised Darrell with the daddy one when he got home from work. I must say, I am really impressed that it took me over 4 months to make a baby purchase though.


Pictures below, and please continue to pray!

Weeks 16 & 17

Weeks 16 & 17 have proved to be much harder!


Last week, I started getting sick...some sort of cough/cold/chest congestion.  Of course, being pregnant, as if you don't have enough to worry about, this scared me to death.  I called my doctor 3 times last week and they advised me to continue taking Mucinex and wait 7 days to see if it went away.  On the 8th day, they agreed to see me, only because I sounded so awful, they were worried about my lungs.  Once I got to the doctor they checked my temperature and my oxygen level and said I was fine...I was miserable.  They said to wait 7 more days and if it didn't go away they would give me some medication.  That same day my sweet Mama came over to clean and cook for me.  That seemed to be the best medication of all!  I started getting better after that.  Amazing what Mama's can do!  =)

Week 16

Other than that, my pregnancy has been so good.  Once I got out of my first trimester I started sleeping SO much better.  I have a renewed energy.  I even told my doctor, that I probably shouldn't complain, but I don't even feel pregnant.  She told me..."Just wait..." haha!  I am sure I will start to feel very pregnant, but I have been so so so so so very blessed.  I am sure it has to do with all the prayers you guys are putting up for me.  The main difference in my sleep is that I no longer get up 10-12 times to pee pee.  Now, it's more like 1-2 times, but the pee pees last FOREVER.  Sometimes, I fall asleep on the toilet!  I haven't really had any cravings, besides fruit and veggies, which is good for Mommy and Baby.  

Week 17

Continue to pray for us, Lord knows we need it!

Week 15

This week has been exciting!  I have craved nothing but fruit and
vegetables this week!  Specifically, I love the little cherry
tomatoes.  I can eat them like I am eating potato chips!  My parents
even planted some for their grandbaby to enjoy one day! (Did I
mention, this baby is going to be SO spoiled, between all the
grandparents!?)

I feel my stomach getting bigger...literally.  Sometimes my stomach
will be sore to touch or just sore in general.  This is when I know I
am growing.  I just rub oil on it and pray for no stretch marks.  How
awesome it is to have this experience though....even a stretch mark
wouldn't matter.  =)

I feel like my biggest accomplishment is sleeping so GOOD at night!
For a while I was waking up at 3 am every single night without being
able to go back to sleep.  My doctor told me I could take some
benedryl to help me sleep.  I took the benedryl and it helped me sleep
until 4am.  I decided for 1 hour it wasn't worth taking medication.
Then suddenly, this week I am sleeping like a rock.  I barely remember
all the times I have to get up and pee.  Thank the Lord!

In other news this week, Cameron's woman friend had some puppies!
Dixie gave birth to 3 full blooded registered poodles.  They will be
for sale before long, so email me at jdpsouthern@gmail.com if you are
interested!
Pictures below!

Week 14

This past week has been a great week!  I have slept better and had no real complaints. 
I had a check up appointment yesterday and everything was great!  My blood tests were great, my weight gain was great and the baby's heart beat was great!  159 beats per minute.  It is so reassuring to go to a check up appointment and be reassured that everything is going just fine!  Thank you all so much for the prayers!  On May 9th, pending the cooperation from the baby, we will get to find out the sex and I cannot wait!

On a side note, our condo officially went under contract this week, so exciting things have been happening at our household.  With much thanks to our realtor, Amanda Tucker, for all of her hard work and dedication.  Now, to find somewhere to live! 

Continue to pray for us!  So many exciting things happening!

Weeks 12 & 13

Weeks 12 and 13 have proved to be pretty similar to all the rest of the weeks.  I am honestly blessed to not have any sickness!  This week, my belly feels like it has doubled in size.  I actually feel pregnant versus just chubby.  Last weekend, when Darrell and I went grocery shopping I passed by the Lucky Charms and I HAD to have them!  I ate a bowl as soon as we got home and then I ate another bowl after dinner!  The only other food I craved was pepperoncini peppers.  I buy them by the jar anyway and put them on salads, but this week I ate what was left in the jars and proceeded to drink all of the juice out of the jar...i have NEVER done that.  It satisfied me though! 


The only other major change is the amount of times I potty during the night!  I made the mistake on Sunday of eating a late dinner and I drank a glass of apple juice.  I got up about 13 times in the middle of the night to pee...NEVER again.  It made for a very long Monday yesterday.


Our next check up is a week April 10th.  Prayers requested! 


As promised, our first pregnant picture:

I hope you all have a great Easter! 

Week 11

Week 11 seems to have brought with it a burst of energy.  I can actually stay up past 8pm!  With that being said, once I fall asleep, I dream all night, very vividly, and I can remember every detail about every dream.

I also started wearing some of my maternity pants this week.  They are a little big right now, but my regular pants are a little small.  I’m in between I guess.  But the maternity pants are so so so so so much more comfortable.  I don’t really feel very pregnant when I look at my stomach.  I feel fat!  There’s not a real round belly, just extra flab I feel like.  I always thought I would take pictures of myself every week of my pregnancy…to be honest, I haven’t really wanted to!  I am going to start though.  One day, I will enjoy it.  One day, when my belly is gigantic I will wish to be back to this size.  Ha!

I froze my gym membership this week…which was a pretty hard thing for me to do.  For the first few weeks after finding out I was pregnant, I was way too exhausted to exercise.  I kept telling myself that this would pass and then I could get back to the gym.  Last week, my doctor advised to just stick with walking for right now.  I don’t need a gym membership to walk, so I froze my remaining months there to use after the pregnancy.  Since then, Darrell and I have been walking Cameron every evening for about a mile.  It’s good for Cameron and it’s good for Darrell and I. 

As always, thank you for the continued prayers!!

Week 10

Today was our first doctor's appointment at the OB and it was surreal!!  Words cannot describe how blessed I feel after today!

I was so nervous walking into that doctor's office.  Although I know that anything that happens is God's will, I still get nervous!  They called Darrell and I back for the ultrasound and as soon as they plopped that little stick on my belly and rubbed it around, our baby appeared on the screen.  Then they added sound and we got to hear a HEALTHY heartbeat!  173 beats per minute. 

My mom also went, because Darrell could only come for the ultrasound and then had to go back to work.  We had decided Darrell and I would do the ultrasound together and once we had our moment, my mom could come in.  I told Darrell to go get my Mom so she could come in.  As soon as Darrell walked out of the room, our baby started moving it's arms and legs.  I was in disbelief!  The baby continued to show off until Darrell and my Mom got back in the room.  None of us could believe our eyes!  It was the coolest thing I've seen in my entire life.

 The rest of the day was filled with a lot of tests and a lot of questions.  I have had a rash on my stomach that was spreading to my arms and legs.  That is the reason I was itching SO bad!  I have been waking up in the middle of the night just clawing myself.  The rash is from a reaction to using Palmers Cocoa Butter.  So, no more butter for me and the Dr. prescribed me a cream to make the rash go away!  I can't wait to sleep without waking up itching! 

God is far better to me than I ever deserved.  And today, was a testimony to that!

Thank you all so much for the prayers!!!!  Continue to pray!

Week 9

Week 9 has been similar to most of the other weeks.  Except impatiently waiting to go to the Dr.  It still shocks me that I have not been yet!  A friend and I were talking at work the other day, she has a small son.  She said she remembered waiting FOREVER and thinking "Shouldn't they see me and make sure that I am okay to carry a baby!?!"  That's EXACTLY how I feel!!!  They should give us a license to carry these babies around! 

Only kidding, but ony 7 more days and we will hopefully have a good Dr.'s appt next Thursday!

My clothes are getting much tighter...specifically my pants.  I think I have 2 pair of work pants that I can actually wear.  I found the sweetest lady tonight on Craigslist and she sold me a TON of maternity clothes.  I can't believe I am saying this, but I CANNOT WAIT to wear those elastic band pants!!!!!  =)

I have noticed a small increase in my eating.  I read online somewhere that you didn't really need to eat for 2, only drink a couple extra glasses of milk everyday...I think whoever wrote that has never been pregnant.  I wake up thinking about what I am going to eat!  SO funny!

Anyway, it is WAY past this pregnant girls bedtime.  Continue to pray for a healthy heartbeat and baby next week! 

Week 8

Last week provided little time to blog, so I am playing catch up this week.

Week 8 was no different really from week 6-7 except for some major itching!  My belly itches like crazy!  I am told it is from the stretching of your body.  My back itches too, but not as bad as my stomach.  I put lotion on in the morning and before I go to bed, hoping that it will relieve the itching somewhat, and normally it helps a little. 

Thankfully, still no sickness, just occasional nausea depending on what I eat. 

My sense of smell is REALLY strong.  I can smell just about anything – things I don’t normally smell.  Before I realized my sense of smell was getting better, a few weeks ago at church I could smell my feet.  They didn’t stink, I could just smell them.  I asked Darrell about 12 times if he smelled them.  He didn’t.  I asked my mom, she didn’t.  Now I feel like I smell everything, all the time.  I can smell Cameron from a mile away, I can smell my socks, I can smell anything that is cooking in the break room at work.  Usually, that makes me hungry, or feel nauseous. 

We were scheduled for our first ultrasound this Thursday, the 8^th.  I called my OB last week to check on something, and my OB had accidentally cancelled my appointment and my time slot was no longer available…I had a minor meltdown and cried while attempting to tell the receptionist that she can just create a new spot for me at the same time on the same day I had scheduled, since I had already asked for time off at work.  It’s just, you wait so LONG to go to the doctor and I just want somebody to go “Yep, everybody looks good!”  Just some reassurance...And suddenly, my appointment I have waited forever for was accidentally cancelled.  That specific receptionist panicked and said she would have a manager call me back. 

I called back the following day and spoke to a very sweet woman, who was willing to try everything to get me in for the ultrasound and blood work, but couldn’t get it worked out to have them both on the same day.  SO, my appointment got pushed back ANOTHER week.  It will feel like eternity before I actually make this appointment. 

Hopefully the time will pass quick!  I appreciate all the prayers and continue to pray!

xoxo

Week 7

This week has been filled with emotions.  Sometimes I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster.  I cannot control my tears anymore.  They come and go as they please.  

I still feel tired and nauseous a lot.  Thank God this past week was a 3 day weekend so I got a lot of extra rest.  

I had my first craving.  It was for a big slice of veggie pizza.  I emailed Darrell and told him.  The next day was Valentine’s Day and he brought me home a big veggie pizza from Papa Johns.  I thought I could eat the whole thing....but  I was stuffed after 2 slices!  I feel hungry enough to eat everything in sight, but get full quicker than I expect.  At least I had leftovers for the next day.  =)

A friend of ours was out of town and his little girl was staying with her Grandma and Grandma.  Her name is Emory.  She came to church and sat with me and she was so excited that I was having a baby.  She asked me as soon as she seen me, “What are you going to call its name?”  I said “I don’t know yet, what do you think?”  Without hesitation, she replied, “Snowflake!”  So funny!!!  She then told me, not to tell Darrell because he will freak out!

Later during church Emory was playing with my hair and she said “Jamie, I don’t want you to be a Mommy!” I said “Why not?!” She said, “Because you won’t be Jamie anymore and you won’t come and see me anymore!”  I explained to her I will always be Jamie, I will just additionally be “Mommy” now too.  That seemed to please her and me too. 

Truth is, I don’t feel like Jamie much anymore.  I feel like a cautious bubble.  Everything I do and eat and say and think must be thought about twice to make sure it is okay for our child.  Can I eat this?  Does this really contain raw eggs?  What kind of lotion should I start buying?  Am I getting enough vegetables?  How many potato chips are too many? 

A million questions every day, all day.  I know though, that somewhere deep inside is Jamie, and once she gets used to this being pregnant thing, she will be back!  =)

Happy Valentines Day!!!!

 Around October 10th, a day before my own birthday, I will officially have a new tag to add to my list of names.  This tag will be "Mommy."  I have to say, as much as I enjoy being the Preachers' Daughter, Wife,  Sister, Friend and many more, "Mommy" is the one I have waited my whole life to enjoy.

This Valentine's Day will be a holiday I will remember for the rest of my life... Just last week, Darrell and I found out that we are having a baby!  Words cannot even describe how excited we are!! Excited, scared, anxious, impatient, all at the same time, while feeling we only have a limited amount of time to get everything we need to be prepared.

Call me naive, but I always assumed the pregnancy side effects would hit later in the pregnancy...you know, like for the first 4 months I would be in a joyous bliss planning for our baby's arrival, and after that, the going would get tough. 

HA!  While I am ecstatic, I am also tired beyond measure and find it hard to hold my eyes open after 8:30pm...I also cannot sleep through the night now without getting up multiple times to use the restroom...Taking the stairs in my condo building suddenly wears me out...Food that I normally LOVE, I can't stand to look at.  Food I wouldn't think of touching, suddenly seems appetizing...and don't let a Disney movie come on...I will cry for hours!

I want to be jumping around with excitement, but instead I lay and rest, hoping that whatever I just ate won't make me feel nauseous, while carrying a roll of Tums with me everywhere. 

Did I mention that today, I put on my first pair of pants that were "snug"?  I thought, "eh, I can wear these a little while longer, you aren't supposed to be showing until a little farther along."  After about 2 hours at work with my pants feeling like they were cutting the circulation off to my stomach, the buttons were undone for the rest of the day. 
Those pants went to the very back of my closet... 

And the best part?  I wouldn't change a bit of it for the world.  I want to experience every single moment of this pregnancy.  What a small sacrifice for a precious child that we will one day, call our very own.

In the words of Winnie the Pooh, "A grand adventure is about to begin.."
...An adventure that I couldn't love anymore this Valentines Day.